I’ve done ballet my whole life. For as long as I can remember, I’ve spent more time at the ballet studio than I have at my own house. It’s a commitment that takes up half of my time. But on top of being at the ballet studio doing what I love, there’s the school work that comes along with it. It all piles up and becomes stressful.

I know tons of student athletes. They’re all student athletes who travel around the country for tournaments, and they can spend the time they have traveling to stay on top of homework and school assignments. They can spend time at practice doing the homework that they have. But I don’t travel for ballet, I stay in one place. I don’t have time while traveling to do the homework I need to do. Right after school, I go home, get ready for ballet and leave. I’m there for five hours after school every day, and when I get home, I’m too tired to even make myself a snack to eat. And then it starts again the next day, with no time to sit down and do homework. All the work piles up, and I get stressed about the amount of work I have to catch up on. I don’t have time on the weekends to do what I need to do because I’m at the studio rehearsing for whatever we have that’s coming up.

Being a ballet dancer in high school is not easy. I can’t skip a day of ballet to catch up on homework, but I also can’t skip a day of school. There’s no time in my day when I can simply just sit down and relax for ten minutes. It’s constantly just go, go and go. I often feel stressed and overwhelmed, but when it all piles up after I haven’t had time to do any work, I can’t keep my mind off of it. I spend all my time thinking about all the work I have to do, which makes me even more stressed. At ballet, I’m thinking about it; on my way home from school, I’m thinking about it. But I also think about the time I don’t have that I could be spending on my work.

I’ve always been someone who wants to do well in school, but it’s also always been hard for me to focus. I’ve noticed that when I get my work done, I can get an A. But of course, when I’m too stressed, not just with schoolwork but with the hectic ballet schedule, I can’t get assignments done, and my grades drop, adding more stress onto my plate.

I can’t ever think of a time during the school year in my two years of being in high school where I haven’t had a day where I either have loads of homework, ballet for five hours, or sometimes even both. It’s hard for me to be a student who wants to do well in school, but also has a passion for something that takes up so much time in my life. I hate missing school because it makes more for me to catch up on, but I also hate missing ballet, because then I need to take more makeup classes so I don’t have any absences.

I’m a part of the Professional Training Program (PTP) at my studio, which has requirements to be in this program. These requirements include taking a minimum of eight classes a week, and only being allowed to have three missing classes the entire year, so missing classes isn’t really an option for me. It’s hard to have a commitment to something that I love so much, but also being a student in high school with high expectations for myself.

Not only is there the stress of school, but also the stress of performances, auditions, cast lists coming out, costumes, pointe shoes and so much more. The week leading up to a performance, I’m burnt out. I can’t miss school or I’ll fall too far behind, but I also have the commitment of driving an hour for dress rehearsals. There’s the stress about wanting a certain role in a ballet and heading into the audition having no idea what is about to happen. There’s the stress about doing a good performance and making the teachers at my studio proud of all the work I’ve put in. There’s the stress about being the best dancer I can be. There’s the stress of showing up —even when it’s the last thing I want to do. There’s the stress of meeting the expectations of myself, and all of my teachers at school and ballet.

It’s stressful to be a ballet dancer in high school, and being able to find a balance between the two when I want to be the best dancer I can be, but also to be the best student I can be. I’m not able to take time off so I don’t fall behind in school and ballet, and I have barely any time to get the sleep I need. But the stress means I care about it, and I know I’m doing the best I can do in school and ballet, and knowing that makes it all worth it.