On a cloudy Saturday morning, Violet Selcer found herself on a still-dewy soccer field in Ann Arbor, blowing a whistle and wearing a neon orange shirt that proclaimed her to be the official of a Rec & Ed soccer match.
“I was making sure they didn’t kill each other,” Selcer said.
Selcer’s main job as a referee is to keep kids safe, while also following game rules and letting the kids have fun. After two fourth-grade teams went head-to-head in a game that ended tied 7-7, she waited on the field for her next watch of the day to start.
Selcer played for a Rec & Ed team from second to eighth grade. She remembers her team not faring well in matches, but is glad for the chance to still participate in the sport, now in her fifth season of refereeing. Secler enjoys the skill and strategy that goes into playing soccer, as well as working with the elementary school kids who participate in the games.
“There’s so much skill and strategy [in soccer], so I think it’s really fun to watch,” Selcer said. “But then I really enjoy working with the kids. They’re always so sweet and ask the goofiest questions.”
She often helps resolve problems with players, like a time when a player got their cleat tangled in the net. Sometimes, the kids even start to recognize her, exclaiming, “I know you!” when they see that Selcer is their official again.
Refereeing isn’t always so endearing. Selcer has had some bad experiences with coaches and parents at games yelling at her, and once a coach took it so far she had to end the game. The amount Selcer has learned from these experiences, as well as her own time playing soccer, has outweighed the hard moments that come with refereeing.
“Playing soccer really helped me make friends,” Selcer said. “It was good for me and the other girls on my team to practice being aggressive and not letting ourselves get pushed around.”
While many of her elementary soccer friends have moved away, she still remembers to stand up for herself. Selcer feels like she has gained a lot of confidence from being a referee, especially when talking to adults. She feels more comfortable asking adults and strangers to do what she needs, instead of feeling like she needs to ask for permission. Overall, she enjoys her time being a referee for soccer games, and has learned throughout the process too.
“Sometimes [the kids] are really bad,” Selcer said. “[My team was] awful, but we had fun.”
Refereeing soccer games now remind Selcer of when she played as a kid, and she is glad to have this opportunity as a high schooler currently.
