Sitting on an old man’s lap has always seemed weird to me. Maybe it’s just that the concept of “stranger danger” has stuck with me since Safety Town, but I can empathize with those children who go ballistic when their over-eager parents drag them to get pictures with Santa Claus.

Initially, I wanted to talk to the guy whose job it was to be Santa Claus, not “Claus” himself. But, thanks to Briarwood Mall’s policy, this was impossible. While other employed Santas are allowed to be interviewed under their real identity and not as Santa Claus, Briarwood is strict. If I wanted to conduct an interview with the man in the red suit, he would have to stay in character.

Now I’m going to be honest, I had a hard time keeping a straight face when I asked the portly man with a beard what his normal day was like: “Well, I wake up in the morning and Mrs. Claus fixes me breakfast. My elves get the sleigh all ready and me and Mrs. Claus hop in it and ride down to Briarwood mall and land on the roof,” he said.

Despite the comedy of the situation, I felt like an intruder, watching children approach this stranger, as parents reminded their sons and daughters what toys to tell Santa about. Some were eager to jump on Santa’s lap, and others a bit more cautious.

In a society where there is a widespread fear of predators, it seems noteworthy that the tradition of stationing Santa Claus at malls across America has lived on. “We are teaching our daughter to take gifts from a stranger. But Santa’s a good stranger,” said Santa, detailing the commentary of one child’s parent.

The ultimate question is: how does one, especially a child, distinguish between a “good” stranger, and a “bad” one? One way would be to ask Claus himself; he does, after all, keep a list of that, right?

The naughty list has become a convenient threat for parents during the Christmas season (Lord forbid you are a bad child and only get coal in your stocking). Santa also reminds children that, “You just have to be asleep when I come.” Now, I’m all for keeping kids in line, especially when it comes to good versus evil, but the idea of using Santa Claus, a character modeled after a generous Bishop who gave gifts to the poor, as a way to encourage children to be well-behaved and generally good people strikes me as ironic. At least in the Bible (yes, Christianity did influence the formation of this corporate holiday), there is an attack against greed.

Why would someone need a Christmas present, when they could have the comfort that they will go to heaven? Or, what about simply giving gifts to those less fortunate than yourself?

While the holiday season is a time of gift-giving, it isn’t just the recipient of a nice pair of earrings, or the new Drake album, who benefits. This is the time of year for corporate America to squeeze every last penny from Americans who are so keen to buy, buy, and buy some more. But maybe this isn’t so bad, after all.

The holiday season does create revenue that is beneficial for America: on this year’s Black Friday, The National Retail Federation estimated total spending to be $52.4 billion.

Just in the hour-or-so that I was observing Santa Claus, about eight kids entered the winter wonderland scene that had been expertly crafted with an excessive amount of white felt, a glue gun, and some spray snow. Every child that Claus talked to wanted some type of electronic device. When asked what he thought about the increase in technology that children want for Christmas, Santa replied that despite being hard on the Elves, “[electronics are] good things, [they] make our children smarter.” If those eight kids were a focus group for companies like Macintosh and Nintendo, there is no doubt that these already wealthy corporations would increase their profits this holiday season.

But for Claus, there will be no billion dollar profits. His salary consists of hugs and love for, after all, “[there is] no better pay.”

While I might question the authenticity of this statement, I envy the guy. “I come here and I meet all of the children…. My youngest so far has been three days old and my oldest has 97 years. And I love all of the children between those two age groups,” Claus said when describing a day at the mall.

It’s nice to think that somewhere out there, lost in the crowds armed with pepper spray and credit cards, is jolly old Saint Nick, working only for love, desperately trying to satisfy the ever-growing cravings of all of the good children around the world.