For the last nine months or so, I’ve been having pains in my left hip that come and go. Over the holidays, I was working long hours without sitting down, and my hip began to hurt all of the time—shooting down my thigh, and spreading into my lower back.

Last Thursday, I finally got it together and went to the doctor. My mom and I spent almost an hour speaking to an orthopedist, but we left the office with little information about my hip. I have to go back.

The reason for my second appointment is that we spent the entire time talking about my brain. The brain is not a bone; so naturally, I felt that my time was being wasted. However, my attention picked right up when the doctor had me mess with my right pointer finger while covering my left eye. From this, he concluded that my left eye is my dominant eye, and from that, he concluded that I am left-handed.

At first I was confused. I am right handed, seeing that I write with my right hand. He told me no. The reason for the hand in which I hold my pencil is because someone forced me into it. Cruel, right?

The doctor is correct, though. With writing and brushing my teeth aside, I do everything left-handed: eat, pour, scoop, stir, drive (when I remove one hand), shake, everything. Someone yelled at me too many times for holding my pencil on the left. I blame my kindergarten teacher—she made me cry a lot.

All day I began to feel that I have spent my entire life backwards. A friend suggested that I write letters to the colleges I’ve been rejected to. She said that I could make the argument that I’ve been oppressed, and if I had known I’ve been using the wrong hand for all thirteen years plus preschool my grades would be just that much higher. At first we laughed about the idea and attempted to get to class on time, but then I got thinking. School actually could have been easier, and let’s face it—I struggle.

So the question now, is whether or not I should take the time to write with my left hand. I could. I should. I only have one more semester of high school, but at least four years of higher education beginning in the fall. Obviously, I want good grades, but I’m tangled in this web. Would college come more naturally left-handed? The problem is that school is the right-handed part of my life, and that’s the way I know it.

Here is the plan I’ve created: finish high school with my right hand. Over the summer, I’ll change the placement of my pencil. If it works, it works. If I become a star student in college, I should get a do-over of high school. Would I ever take it? You’ve got to be kidding me.