What do you do when you have to go to school, work and the grocery store while in the midst of an ongoing pandemic? The best you can. And you can still get Covid-19. I did.

Thanksgiving weekend, almost my entire immediate family tested positive for Covid-19. It’s a possibility that you have to think about it every day, yet that phone call from the doctor is never fully expected. I had lost all control over my schedule that I had so quickly taken for granted in one day,

When I first found out I tested positive, I felt an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. Everything was out of my control. I was admittedly airritated, and fell down the dangerous rabbit hole of ‘why me?’

I went into quarantine and felt sick for the next three days, but what felt more strange were the following days when I felt relatively healthy, but still, my life was on pause. I felt an eerie similarity to last year during virtual school, being back in my room, doing school online and feeling disconnected from friends.

My first concern, though, was for the rest of my family. I was the first to get better, but we all recovered at different paces. Something we as kids don’t think about often is our parents being sick. We see our parents as caregivers when we’re sick, but what happens when you’re suddenly the one caring for them?

My next concern was school and just how much I’d miss. You can try to stay up to date and check Schoology work, but there’s only so much you can teach yourself from your room. Just to keep my anxiety under control, I would plan out the days and how many weeks I’d have until finals when I got back. When you miss one day of school, it can feel like you missed an eternity, so the thought of missing a whole week and a half felt unimaginable.

The return to school also brought new anxieties. I wondered what people would think of me after I got Covid-19.

While in quarantine, I was left alone for my anxiety and memory to wander, giving me a strict reminder to take nothing we have right now for granted. It also caused me to dwell on all the dreaded ‘what ifs?’ What if I could have done just one small thing differently and prevented this?

The truth is nobody is perfect. Every day we take some risk –– big or small ––when it comes to Covid-19. Something as insignificant as eating lunch with your friends –– like you do every day of the year ––can now put you at risk.

The worst part was the guilt, feeling the obligation to explain myself when I told people, or the fear of telling people at all ––The feeling of letting people down, canceling plans, calling in sick for work.

We complain about homework, awkward classes, crowded hallways and finding a seat at lunch, but we suddenly forget all that when it all gets taken away.

I was lucky. I was only sick for a few days and had people around to support me. I’ve been fortunate enough to not know anyone personally to have been hospitalized or worse from Covid-19.

Covid-19 has consumed our lives for almost two years now and still, there is a stigma surrounding getting the virus. This stigma dissuades people from being honest and fearful of judgment, even when it could be any one of us, no matter how safe we are.