I stand there as multiple adults look at me, waiting for an answer. I stand there as my classmates stare at me due to my lack of understanding. I stand there as I watch my friends and family question my decisions. Some say they want to be a doctor, scientist, artist, etc., while I stay puzzled by my answer. “What do you want to do when you’re older?” The real question in my mind: what do I not want to do?

I’ve been asked this by many and continue to be today. I hope to do many things, see many things and experience many things. I hope to spend my life doing many things that I love and to make mistakes that I learn from. I hope to laugh and love many. I hope to explore many parts of the world. I hope to meet mutuals from all different cultures and lifestyles. I hope to connect with many and to ultimately live a fulfilling life according to my expectations.

These opportunities are what I hope for, yet I know that it is me who has to chase these dreams rather than attract them. Everyone has to take initiative about what they want. Hoping only gets you so far.

I want to learn how to live a life that means something to me. I hope to continue growing throughout my life in numerous ways. I have to and I think everyone should. We can’t be single-minded but rather be open to many things. We all have the ability to learn, so why not continue to grow? I hope to continue to be open-minded throughout my entire life.

I want to do many things and take advantage of all my potential. I see myself being so many things, but I choose not to be single minded. Joy is what I am starting to prioritize. If I’m going to invest my time into something, it has to provide me with joy. Something that stresses me to the edge and provides no fun isn’t useful to me. We have to do tasks in our lives that we don’t always love, but a majority of the things that we spend our time on should provide joy. I’m not afraid to move on or grow.

My aspirations are all over the place. I see myself in the future being an author, journalist, theater director, screenwright, cook, business owner, au pair, loyal friend, lover, activist, etc. These all matter to me in many ways. I will always include writing in my life because it helps me so much in resolving my emotional issues or stress I’m experiencing. The idea of creating worlds for others to read excites me, and so many types of writing. Journalism allows me to write about the present world, which can be unique and daunting at the moment. Theater provides me opportunities to shine both on stage and backstage. Meanwhile, owning a business can be fulfilling in my eyes. These all mean something to me. Maybe they will end up not working out for me in the end, but I will always try.

All of these ideas for what I want to incorporate into my life come from inspiration and experiences. Donna Tartt inspired me to become an author. Emily Wilson-Tobin inspired me to direct plays, possibly by the way she leads others and cares so deeply. People who have shared their travel experiences such as friends and family showed how important it is to be a part of many things. My friend, Abbi Bachman, inspires me to be open to learning. She teaches me to listen to others as she is willing to always learn and correct herself. My family vacations inspire me to travel more, while my friends have inspired me to be loyal. These inspirations complement each other in my mind to create a big picture of me that is filled with possibilities.

I won’t choose one thing to center my life around, but rather split my time into multiple different interests that are worth my time. The reason I want to experiment so much is that so much fascinates me.

I want surprises in my life, but for consistency in my life, I want to travel and to write.I’ll find a way to combine small, stable things with just the right amount of spontaneity. Writing helps me practice regulating my emotions while traveling provides spontaneity.

However, hope and uncertainty come into play. My future is out of my control in some respects. Many things could get in the way. There is only so much that I can control. I hope for many things and I hope to experiment. I hope for others and strong relationships. I hope for everything until it happens. Then I run with it.

“What do you want to do when you’re older?”

“Everything that is worth my time and energy.”