Your friend has been stepping over a boundary of yours for too long and it’s begun to take a toll on you. You don’t know how much longer you can take it. The rude, unkind, unfunny, unintentionally hurtful remarks start to drain you. It becomes necessary to put yourself first and correct a friendship before it becomes a chore. You text your friend, “Hey, can we talk?” They leave you on “read”, filling you with guilt and dread.
Ideally, your friend could accept this confrontation to strengthen your relationship and help express your needs. Confrontation involves communicating about an issue in your relationship. This act can look like you talking face-to-face, or texting your problem to your friend. It can be casual or very serious, depending on the challenges you are facing. A situation where one’s boundary is overstepped needs to be addressed in order for your friendship to continue. It’s unfair for you to resent someone for something they didn’t know was wrong. Take care of it before it becomes unbearable.
Confrontations serve as a reminder to friends that maybe something isn’t right. If your friend is talking about you behind your back, you confront them. If your friend picks apart your appearance daily, you confront them. If your friend is ghosting you, you confront them. Your friend, your friend, your friend.
To some, standing up for yourself can feel empowering, but to many, the experience is full of fear. You’re confronting someone about something they are doing wrong or you dislike. You’re correcting them in a way and sticking up for yourself. You can feel powerful yet anxious because you don’t know the outcome.
What if your friend lashes out at you? What if your friendship ends? What if your friendship is permanently changed for the worst? What if they don’t understand what you’re trying to say? What if they take it the wrong way?
But what if your friend takes it and learns from it? What if your friend apologizes? What if your friend accepts it and moves on? What if your friend completely understands? What if you build a stronger trust?
I’ve confronted someone, which ended the friendship. I’ve confronted someone, which created permanent tension. I’ve confronted someone, which made our friendship stronger. I’ve confronted someone, which created better habits for us to communicate.
The fear of the unknown reaction of your friend when confronting them is what stops many from standing their ground. Confrontation is worth it in the end. It’s always worth it to speak your truth, even if you don’t know how someone will respond. You can’t control someone, and if they can’t respect you, maybe it’s not meant to be.
