When Michael Jordan returned to the Bulls, he was greeted by a fevered madness that had not swept the city of Chicago since prohibition was terminated in the 1920’s.  People in the bars and on the streets raised their voices in unison and exclaimed, “Thank the lord, our savior is here.”  I expect nothing less from Community High School as I announce that for the second consecutive year, I will be writing my critically acclaimed Spencer Vs. column.

I am determined not to repeat my imperfect 09-10 season where I was defeated by all seven of the athletes I challenged.  Over the summer I developed an intense training regimen that involves a strict diet of protein shakes and anabolic steroids.  The honest truth is that losing is not a color that looks good on me; it doesn’t match my eyes.  So I will do everything in my power to not disappoint this season.  I can be better; I will be better.

I decided to start this year off with a splash as, for the second time in my career, I hit the pool.  I would be playing water polo for the first time in my life against Emily DiGiovanni.  Emily has been on the Huron High School varsity water polo team for two years now.  A senior at CHS, Emily is one of Huron’s top players who will be vying for a state championship. We planned to meet at the Huron pool after school.  I must admit that I was nervous at first judging on the fact that my swimming skills are sub-par to say the least.  The pool was freezing and the water tasted as though it might have been drained straight from the Huron River. We would play on one goal where one of Emily’s teammates would play goalie.

As I grasped the ball, I wondered how I was going to do anything when all my energy was concentrated on treading water.  That’s when I saw Emily charging at me.  She hit me and suddenly I didn’t have the ball anymore.  I looked around and saw her swimming towards goal.  I attempted to recover, but trying to catch up was like a rat trying to out swim a dolphin; odds are its not going to happen.  I gave a good effort on defense but Emily merely glided by me as I struggled through the water. The final score was 10 to 2.  I cannot decide which was more embarrassing, having to take a break every 30 seconds or ducking under water whenever Emily came at me.

It was perhaps the most I’ve ever been outmatched in a contest.  I’d like to blame the loss on early season jitters, but the fact of the matter is that I could be looking at a long season to come.

CHS Athletes: 1

Spencer: 0