Essentially the movies are about the journey of Perseus and his quests to defeat monsters and rescue the beautiful Andromeda. Though the first Clash of the Titans from 1981 is considered a “cheesy stop-motion flick” now, it was originally a better movie than most back then. In my opinion it was directed beautifully, except for the stop-motion animation which completely put me off any movie from before 2000.

It opens with a march of warriors reminiscent of the beginning of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The horrible stop-motion continues as we see the Kraken arise from the sea and slither across the screen, and it’s continued with the flooding of a city and the camera cutting from screen to screen with shots of people screaming as they drown. This all a result of Zeus’ anger at Acrisius for casting out his daughter Danae who is pregnant with Zeus’ baby.

Years later Thetis and Zeus are arguing up in the clouds of Mount Olympus about Thetis’ son Calibos and his soon to be bride Andromeda princess of Argos. Calibos has committed the unforgivable act of enslaving all Zeus’ flying horses. As a result, Zeus punishes Calibos by making him into half-human, half-beast. Therefore, he is cast out by the people of Argos and his marriage is cut off. Thetis sees Zeus favoring Perseus over Calibos so she becomes ticked off and transports Perseus in the middle of the night to Argos, where he falls in love with Andromeda. He wins her heart by defeating Calibos in battle, furthering Thetis’ anger.

Perseus is then led in several quests to find objects. He is aided by Zeus and attempts to discover three things: a godly sword and shield, a mechanical owl, and Medusa in the hopes of cutting off her head to stop Thetis from attacking Argos with the Kraken.

In the 2010 version of Clash of the Titans, the set up takes a much shorter amount of time, but it’s essentially the same until Zeus’ statue is knocked down by armies from Argos, making Hades and Zues very mad. Hades kills Perseus’ family and the soldiers from Argos rescue him from the sea and take him back to Argos. There he finds out he’s a demigod, and meets Io, a women who lives forever young. The Queen of Argos angers the gods even more when she claims Andromeda, her daughter, is even more beautiful than the goddess Aphrodite. Hades is released unto the world and gives the Kingdom of Argos ten days before they have to sacrifice Andromeda to the Kraken or suffer the destruction of their city.

Perseus takes some soldiers, and travels across deserts, sand dunes, ancient remains of a city, and even falls into Ireland at one point. The mechanical owl makes an appearance but only as a toy, to be cast off by the soldiers. Perseus is given a sword by the gods but refuses to use it. Of course, if he used it he might have saved a few more lives. Perseus also meets Pegasus, a black winged stallion. He captures the head of Medusa, sucessfully killing off the rest of his “crew,” and is then confronted by Acrisius, now a servant of Hades. He finally picks up the godly sword and kills the monster. With the head of Medusa he heads back on Pegasus, taking a ten-day journey in the course of three minutes.

In the end, Hades tries to overthrow Zeus, but in a joint effort Perseus and Zeus send Hades straight back to the Underworld. Perseus turns the Kraken to stone and saves the damsel in distress, Andromeda. Zeus then gives Perseus an offer of “godship”, but Perseus turns him down, Zeus feels guilty so he brings Io back from the dead, and they live happily ever after.

Honestly both of these stories are so far off the reservation I don’t know where to start. The story originally goes that Perseus is cast out with his mother, he visits the fates, steals their eye, cuts off Medusa’s head, and turns Acrisius to stone. Then he rescues Andromeda from being sacrificed to the gods and kills the Kraken. They live happily ever after. The newer version was a bit more bearable, but only because the characters were slightly less unbelievable.

I’d say the 2010 version definitely trumps the 1981 version of Clash of the Titans, but wait for it to come out on DVD, don’t waste your $6.25 on the theater. Wait for the winter to watch a decent movie in theaters.