When I open my phone, it’s automatic. My thumb drags across the screen before I have even decided which app to tap — TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat. It feels built into the routine of being a teenager today. But lately, I have been asking myself a question I don’t really want to answer: Is social media helping me feel more connected, or is it pulling me away from the world I actually live in?
Social media was originally supposed to keep us close, according to Stanford Medicine. With group chats, shared posts and a constant stream of videos, I always believed I needed it to stay in the loop. However, when the TikTok ban took effect in January 2025, it felt like a giant hole opened up in my life. Instead of automatically clicking on the TikTok logo on my homescreen, I tried to fill it with Pinterest and Instagram reels, anything to replace the addiction I didn’t want to admit I had. Even as I scrolled endlessly, part of me knew it was eating away at me.
And I’m not alone. Sophie Banta, a junior at CHS, feels the same way. Banta spends about five hours a day on social media, even more when she doesn’t have school, and she often expects it to make her feel more connected, but in reality, she usually doesn’t.
What’s supposed to pull teens closer often leaves Banta feeling like she is watching others’ lives instead of living her own. She notices how much time she spends keeping up with what everyone else is doing, who they are with, where they went and what she might be missing. In the constant stream highlights, her own day stats to feel less full and excited, like it matters less. Because of this, she finds social media distances her from real experiences, making it harder to be present in the moments unfolding around her.
“It disconnects me from what is going on in my life,” Banta said. “It makes it hard to be grateful for what I have and for the people around me.”
Jenny Radesky, who studies teen social media use at the University of Michigan Medical School, believes that the disconnect social media creates is not the only harmful part; social media also negatively affects teens’ attention, focus and mental health.
“During school hours and overnight hours, we see a lot of social media use,” Radesky said. “You’ll miss out on focusing in school or socially engaging face-to-face, and you’ll miss out on sleep.”
Social media sells itself as a connection, but a lot of the time, it does the opposite. Algorithms pull us toward comparison and people we don’t know and lives we will never live. Life on our phones can often look more thrilling than the one outside our windows. Even though most teens know this to an extent, we still get stuck in it.
“You go on, and it’s like a Band-Aid,” Banta said. “It makes you feel better for a little bit, but then when you finally put your phone down, you realize your responsibilities are still there.”
Adults see the change, too. Courtney Kiley, a science teacher at CHS, remembers what the school’s hallways looked like before phones took over.
“Kids used to play more in the hallways, trying to get a penny stuck in the ceiling, playing hacky sack,” Kiley said. “Not always great things, but it wasn’t just sitting on phones.”
For many teens, scrolling feels effortless, especially when videos flash by in seconds. What starts as a quick break often turns into a long cycle of swiping through stimulating clips, something Radeskey says keeps teens hooked without relaying how much time is passing. On average, U.S. teens spend 4.8 hours a day on major social media apps, and those with the highest use report far more mental health issues. 41% rate their mental health as poor or very poor, compared with the 23% of low-use teens. These patterns are not accidental.
“Shorter videos don’t require as much attention span,” Radesky said. “They have more attention-grabbing content, and they allow companies to collect more data on teenage users.”
Maybe for me, the scariest part is that most teens know social media is harming them, but still feel unable to step back. Banta has tried detoxing from it multiple times, hoping the distance would help her regain control and become more present in her own life. Yet each attempt seems to end the same way.
“I have tried to delete them,” Banta said. “But I always end up downloading them again because it’s so addictive.”
Kiley has noticed this pattern in many students around her. Kiley sees how social media subtly shapes their anxiety, their confidence and even how they measure their own worth. To her, friendships shouldn’t hinge on posts, streaks or constant updates — they should exist independently of what someone shares online.
“You should be able to text and call friends,” Kiley said. “I don’t know what you need to share on social media that would solidify a friendship.”
Yet, teens, including myself, often feel like we do need it. When an app glitch on my account logs me out, I feel panicked, as if I’m slipping away from my own “social life.” But the truth I’m slowly realizing is that what we think is essential in our lives is actually keeping us from being present. Banta captures this tension when she reflects on the moments she misses while glued to her screen.
“I think I miss out on life, on living the moments that are boring and not as exciting, but still meaningful.”
Even though social media can expose us to new ideas, cultures, health topics and experiences we might not encounter in person, it can’t replace real-life interaction or the value of being physically present with others. True connection comes from conversations, attention and showing up in real life. I still reach for my phone more than I should, scrolling late at night or first thing in the morning, but I’m learning that the loud and fast world online can’t compare to the meaningful life happening right in front of me.
