High school is the perfect place to feel embarrassed. Students are surrounded by the same people every single day. If one trips in the hallway, says the wrong answer in class or tries something new and fails, it can feel like the entire school saw it and will remember forever. But what if that fear is actually what is holding students back?
Embarrassment is a skill. And like any skill, if you never practice it, you will never improve at handling it. People like me spend so much time trying to avoid awkward moments that we forget they might actually be important. Instead of avoiding embarrassment, we should view it as a chance to grow.
In classrooms, I can almost feel the fear. A teacher asks a question, and even if half the class knows the answer, barely anyone raises their hand to voice their answer. They stare at their desks or pretend to be writing something down, and I don’t think that’s because they don’t care. It’s that they care too much about how they might look if they are wrong.
“Why wouldn’t you be? It’s high school,” CHS junior Sophie Goetsch said. “And high school can be a lot.”
Goetsch believes that even though some people seem like they don’t care what others think, many students are scared of being judged. That they let fear control decisions, especially in front of peers. Even as someone who describes herself as an extrovert, Goetsch feels nervous talking in front of classmates, and being unsure about an answer feels too risky. Most of the time, she doesn’t raise her hand unless she is sure she is right.
“I’m more afraid to fail than to be embarrassed in front of people,” Goetsch said.
For Goetsch, that fear of failure can stick with her longer than the actual mistake. The embarrassment doesn’t only last for a few seconds; it can turn into self-doubt. That feeling of being inadequate can make people stop trying before they even start.
However, Ally Freiwald, a junior at CHS, believes that embarrassment is part of the high school experience. Even in a welcoming environment, that fear never fully goes away. It shows up in smaller ways.
“I think that it is natural for everyone to be embarrassed at some point when you’re at school,” Freiwald said. “It’s more important to possibly embarrass yourself than to be confused on a topic you’re learning about.”
Raising your hand in class might feel awkward for a few seconds, but staying confused can last a lot longer. In that case, a little embarrassment is worth it. That is something Friewald has had to deal with many times before, like when she had to email one of her teachers about an assignment she didn’t understand. Even though it felt embarrassing in the moment, she ended up getting the help she needed and earned a good grade. That one uncomfortable moment for Freiwald led to something positive. The embarrassment faded, but the result stayed.
For a long time, I avoided anything that made me feel exposed. I would never speak up in class to share my opinion, which led to me following behind without a say. I hesitated to try new things because I thought failing would be humiliating. I convinced myself that staying quiet was safer.
But staying quiet also meant missing out. I started to realize that the fear in my head was bigger than the reality. When I finally began stepping out of my comfort zone, it wasn’t perfect. I constantly felt awkward. But I also learned that people move on quickly; most students are too worried about themselves to remember your mistakes.
“I think most of your confidence comes from those embarrassing and uncomfortable moments,” Goetsch said. “Over time, you start to feel more confident, and slowly, you stop caring as much.”
For Goetsch, there’s also the habit of pretending not to care. She feels safer acting like something doesn’t matter than admitting she tried and failed, and that reaction is human, but it can hold some back.
“I think it’s more embarrassing to not try at all,” Freiwald said. “At least you can show that you tried to succeed in a certain topic.”
Confidence isn’t magic. It is built through repetition, even when it feels uncomfortable. Freiwald believes that for some people, it might come naturally, but for most, it comes from putting themselves in uncomfortable situations.
“Growth and discomfort go together, and you can’t have one without the other,” Freiwald said.
Looking back and regretting that I didn’t take a chance lasts longer than an awkward moment. I think that if students were less afraid of judgment, there would be more class discussions and more diverse opinions and viewpoints to be shared. It would lead to more voices being heard and more students feeling comfortable being themselves.
Embarrassment is never fun for me. I don’t wake up hoping to feel awkward that day. But it’s a sign that others, including me, are pushing themselves; it’s proof that they are trying instead of hiding. I don’t think people are bad at being confident; we are just out of practice at being uncomfortable, and sometimes embarrassment is the price we pay for trying something new and giving ourselves the chance to grow.
