I love reading. I spend some nights telling myself only one more page, but it’s never one more page or even a chapter. And while I enjoy it, I always feel so crummy after, because I deem it a waste of time, I should be studying instead, or doing something “productive”.
Asians and, in my case, Southeast Asians, have commonly been considered smarter and more academically driven. That’s the stereotype, but why? The “immigration selection effect” is a phenomenon where immigrants are not a random sample of a country’s population; instead, they are a sample of the most skilled people based on education, skills, income or motivation from a country.
The immigration process to come to the US is hard, with only a couple of ways to become a resident. One way to immigrate is to get an employment-based green card. That’s how my aunt came; she was at the top of her college class and immigrated by finding work.
For my aunt, she definitely fronts the immigration selection effect due to her education and her hard work. She had to cram in school to make it to America. The GouKou is a nationwide exam that determines a student’s university entrance in China, with subjects covering Chinese, mathematics, foreign language and a chosen elective.
Students who want to get into college today have after-school tutoring for hours every day to score well on this exam. The score you get on this exam is the only thing universities look at for admissions, making it a very stressful event for students.
The idea that studying and learning are the only ways to get into a good life does not go away after immigrating. That academic pressure stays with parents and gets passed on to their children. My parents, on the other hand, did not receive higher education but were extremely motivated and driven to make a better life for themselves, so they also moved to America. They saw my aunt work so hard to get an education, so my mom and dad put me through a lot of education starting at a young age.
In elementary and early middle school, my parents put me in dance, gymnastics, art and piano lessons, while also spending hours a day teaching me Chinese and math. All to set me apart and push me ahead.
The stereotype that Asians are naturally smart is false because it puts everyone on an equal playing field when that is not the case. This stereotype lumps Asian refugees with limited resources with people who have infinite opportunities because of education and income. For some, this stereotype pushes them to learn more, but for those who can’t, it makes them burn out and feel worthless because they aren’t able to fulfill other people’s perception of them.
For me, I didn’t get much out of all these lessons. I can’t play the piano or draw. I dropped gymnastics after COVID because I got too old. I can’t read or write in Chinese; I can only speak. The academic pressure was too much, and I was young, so I didn’t learn anything. But this stereotype didn’t help.
It made me feel like I wasn’t reaching the expectations others had of me. And that idea that I needed to be smart stuck with me, I would always prioritise school over hobbies. I always feel unproductive when I am not working towards something in school.
Being called smart is not a bad thing, but it can be. Reading is considered a smart thing to do; it expands your knowledge and improves cognitive abilities, but I find it unproductive because it doesn’t actively help me get a good grade on my tests and assignments.
I love reading, but I also hate reading.
